This week we celebrate Passover, a Jewish annual holiday marking our freedom from slavery in Egypt thousands of years ago. Passover, to most Jews, is defined by two characteristics : No form of bread is to be eaten (replaced by Matzah- unleavened bread) and a Seder (ritual feast) is conducted on the first two nights. As I grow older (maybe wiser) the Great Passover Vacations of my youth, once shared yearly with extended family in Florida, dissolve into scattered nostalgic thoughts. It seems like everything has changed. Not everything. But much of it. And while I cannot relive those celebrated times, it's truly essential that these memories aide in building new ones.
Coming home, what is that about anyway? Really and truly it confuses, intimidates, and distresses me. As an independent, rent paying, NYC apartment dweller, a return to the nest is similar to entering a time warp. Outwardly we've all changed and grown into mature beautiful women but on the inside it's all just a joke: The smells of cooking and cleaning; the rules we must comply to (no cursing, shoes on the furniture, burping, screaming, etc.), the family member alliances, and the pestering behaviors are exactly the same. I left skid-marks on my adolescence, never to return again. But on holidays and especially Passover, when eight days are spent in the nest, somehow those unhappy teenage experiences replay as if I am living them all over again. My sisters and I have outgrown much of our quarrels, Sure! What I've come to understand now, (because of my fascination with family dynamics) is that whatever your age, without conscious effort to be different, we always slip back into our place. Familiarity is comfort. For me that place is in the kitchen. Cooking food and preparing meals gives me a necessary job, precisely removing me from other uncomfortable situations.
The nest, is that my home or my mother's home? Similarly the Hebrews, as they were once called, (check out the Ten Commandments) struggled with this concept once freed from Egyptian slavery. For obvious reasons slavery was horrid, but they were accustomed to it. Freedom on the other hand was unknown. While Egypt was clearly not their home, they were scared to leave. Homeless wanderers not a thrilling option! Truth- most did not join Moses as he led his people out of Egypt. Whether joining the free or remaining behind, the Hebrews were without a nest.
Still we are a united people :)and my sisters and I will forever laugh at new things and entertain ourselves throughout our time shared together.
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